Raising Kids, Raising Ourselves: Something To Chew On For Trusting Adult Role Models and The Teens In Their Lives – Classroom Mothership Earth
If you are paying purposeful attention to the plight of humanity today, perhaps you might notice a popular pandemic beneath the viral headlines. From a spiritual perspective, human suffering is largely due to people stopping at their judgements, hiding behind them, and frequently perceiving themselves as either inferior or superior to someone or something else. We all have our talents and struggles. But on a soul level, none of us are any better or worse than anyone else. We all have our issues, and are working out our own dharma. Problems arise when we get identified with our judgments, make our positions the absolute right positions, and then justify our positions by reinforcing them with sophisticated arguements in our minds that build cases against any other viewpoints that appear alternative to our own.
We see this play out when children fight over a toy when playing together until they are confronted by an adult’s intervention. And then typically the child that took the toy from the other child justifies why they took the toy in the first place, therefore making it right, and bypassing any guilt or shame that should be examined on the inside. That’s mostly why humans lie and deceive at times. As adults, most of us have become quite sophisticated at this skillful avoidance tactic, often acting out these nuances in our fantasies, and also sometimes concretely in our relationships. But in reality, this is just the anxious little voice of the ego that is also known in Taoism as the Chattering Monkey Mind. It can become a storied arrogant bravado, as its hubris makes convincing arguments that perceive itself as always right, by acting as judge and jury, case closed. It’s hard to argue with that or peer behind the curtain, beyond the masterful illusion. Besides, there’s no illusion if you don’t see it for what it is.
I remember when I was in High School, I had become quite adept at constructing my own concrete reality in my mind that felt safe to me. Whenever I felt threatened by someone else’s position, I would end an argument by saying something like, “you know I’m right”, and walk away from the interaction feeling like I won. Boy, was this ingratiating to my ego. As if communication in relationships should be competitions, where there is a winner and a loser, and one side walks away with a trophy. Pretty silly, and embarrassing, but many people still buy into this form of propaganda, and align with the dangerous ‘cult of personality’ that spreads vis a vis a pandemic of mis/disinformation, like the wildfires out West. It doesn’t matter if you live in a dictatorship, capitalist, socialist society or the Land of Honah Lee. Here in the US, we have capitalism and socialism, where the private sector’s goal is to make money, and medicare that’s designed to take care of people’s health needs. The stupidity of the arguement is a failure to value that both of these subsystems want to expand. Moreover, the fighting about justifying that one side should be held back, while the other should move forward trumps equitable solutions. The truth is that there are enough resources for both, and we can all win. We know from the Law of Attraction that abundance abounds. It isn’t that the lower self isn’t real. It’s just that the Higher Self is more real. The illusion of polarity is healed and dissolved from this perspective. You can’t see that when your blinders are on, and so rigidly clinging to the righteousness of your attached position.
Take a look at the significance of the myriad of thought forms that are circulating in our individual and collective habituated minds. We are creating our beliefs from within, and they are reflecting back to us from our outer world. Many human relationships, including close friendships, are frequently based on unconscious agreements that are motivated by guilt, and an underlying fear that if certain expectations aren’t met, then the relationship could fade into the backdrop, or is maybe even doomed to end. Think about the ‘fear of missing out’ (FOMO) phenomenon that has become a very real experience, and part of many people’s suffering. Rather than speaking our truths authentically, people will give up their power to protect someone else, in an effort to keep the relationship on life support. The internal commercials we buy into go something like this: Well, if I don’t give such and such to my friends, then maybe they will be mad at me, hold a grudge against me, and unfriend me on social media or not invite me to the next party. If I don’t give so and so a Christmas card, then maybe I’ll be off their list. If I don’t suck it up and go to a social gathering, then maybe I’ll be deleted from my friend’s contacts, or a circle of friends group. And maybe you aren’t overtly excommunicated by your congregation, but maybe a lot of pretending that nothing is going on, or people don’t say anything at all, talk behind your back, give you that fake reptillian smile or a furrowed brow next time they see you.
Nobody likes being left out or excluded. But what about when you are leaving yourself hanging out to dry by avoiding personal growth, and nurturing your soul’s evolution? Authentic relationships, and friendships understand that there are times to hit the pause button, and allow people to be where they are at, and who they are. The Higher Self doesn’t live in the realm of tit for tat, or I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine. It’s not about the ritual of gift giving, or proving your love to someone or something. Sometimes, embodying the Universal pillars of Love and Truth is a selfless act of giving another person space, coupled with a self-care act of just being with yourself. The old world paradigm might make for an entertaining Game of Thrones, but it isn’t sustainable or rewarding on a deeper, intrinsicly soul level. Reciprocity is a different way of making connections, and engaging with our human family. There is a way to connect with your own soul, and another soul without any strings attached, or any sense of expectation. We can do this in judgment free zones, and by listening on a level that goes deeper than words, and even beyond attached emotions. Some call this form of empathic listening ‘tuning in’. It is possible to give freely without resentment. It might mean that you give yourself space back to yourself, picture your own inner nobility or the inner nobility of another that could be the target of your disgruntlement, and meditate on that. And if you feel that you are giving in a way that is leaving your feeling resentful, inserting yourself into someone else’s affairs, needing someone else to insert themselves into yours, or finding yourself being seduced to do so or get sucked into someone else’s drama, then maybe you are being invited to examine something deeper going on inside of yourself.
On a larger scale, keep in mind that the global chaos on the planet right now is really challenging the order among our human family, and in society at large. This is part of the transition process from leaving an old paradigm behind, and moving into a new one. I know it is challenging not to get sucked into the chaos, conspiracy theories, or ‘cult of personality’ that we already spoke of. But try to remember that we are spiritual beings having human experiences. On a deeper and higher level, our souls want to be freed from this bondage. The entanglement with our attachment to form is part of our alchemal process that we are meant to relax and let go of. It doesn’t mean you are above the pandemonium or that you don’t feel the pain and suffering of humanity deeply in your bones. It just means you don’t allow yourself to get sucked into the hellish drama of it all. Do whatever you can to connect/ground yourself to this earth, find gratitude in your heart, discover inner peace in your being, and remember to just breathe. You got this. We got this.
Till next time,