Check out this autobiographical article that I wrote, as originally published in Edge of Humanity Magazine at the link below:
Also, check out the podcast version at the link below:
Check out this autobiographical article that I wrote, as originally published in Edge of Humanity Magazine at the link below:
Also, check out the podcast version at the link below:
Since you floated away,
I’ve been pondering my feelings – particularly today.
If I were a movie and you were my director,
After your credits were over, I could no longer cry on your shoulder.
As your script flashed before my interior eye,
I was left disillusioned before I could cry.
Literally, I was your creation – your pride and joy.
You were my mommy, and I was your little boy.
Last week, we followed Dog tracks. Along the trails, I found myself being more affectionate with my family and mindful of boundaries in relationships. While celebrating the Winter Solstice, we noted hot topics of gratitude and letting go, while coaxing back the light. On the Gregorian calendar, we embark on 2013 and continue pressing onward in our Consciousness’ assent. We are in the process of Climate Change and co-creating a New Earth right now and you are It. Some folks were terrified of Doomsday scenarios that promised the end of the world. Others were disappointed about being disappointed that our dying old world didn’t fall off the cliff, while immediately being transformed into a Golden Age on the day after. But aliens didn’t take over and Hillary Clinton went to the hospital–thankfully receiving quality health care without worry of how to pay for it. Soon we welcome the arrival of the Chinese-Lunar New Year, as Spring begins budding underground with Groundhog. Before too long, we will know energetic balance again on the Spring Equinox in March. I awoke the other night to a clear vision of a Beetle gleaming across my inner sky. Like the Sun’s movement across the sky, Beetle moves from East to West. Mother energy has been revisiting us at this time, as feminine-yin energy is dominant and we are turning more inward. Meditating on Beetle medicine is like tapping into a mutable orientation. Whether we are Franz Kafka or an Average Joe, we are all capable of metamorphosis. Is anyone else inspired by a bug’s capacity to radically change from an egg to a grub stage and then fly away as a winged creature? In women, this is somewhat akin to menopause or “mentalpause” as I have heard it called. Do I embrace this heated change or fight it like a war on something I reject?
During our tracking right now, many of us remember our heavy heartfelt losses. There is much pain and it is hard to make friends with that. Picture the horribly uncomfortable position of grieving the death of a partner, while giving birth to a new child simultaneously. Some folks have lost their jobs, their homes or gone through gut-wrenching break-ups, separations or divorce. Even our worried well in the pampered West, are waking up to the hard times we are living in. Others feel like they don’t know who they are anymore and are uncertain of who they are becoming. In the mystery of Life, has anyone ever lost a loved one to suicide, unexpected death or any other permanent physical good-bye? It is a mixed blessing to feel the spirit of the season and also really feel the deep hurt and anger regarding our myriad of deeply traumatic soul wounds, including the inequities, pain and suffering on our planet today. After I lost my mom to suicide, I felt abandoned and forced to enter into adulthood with deeper wounds than your average Bear. I had already felt that before she whacked herself, but the void widened, part of me died as well. But it wasn’t the first time I felt that way, nor will it be the last. Tempting as it was pursuing career goals, objectives and being driven to distraction–doing the inner work is always what yields fruitful and sustainable returns. Living isn’t really sustainable until we wake up to our deeper feelings, while stoking the fiery embers of passion and courage to move toward intimacy, while letting go of egocentric avoidance tactics that keep us asleep. Some of us have fantastic avoidance mechanisms in place that get in the way of us getting in touch with our deeper souls.
The old world of white privilege is dying too and it is OK to grieve that. Some white folks feel like they are losing their country and for them, things seem to be getting worse and they are feeling resentful about it. Some complainants at the top of the economic food chain do not think it is fair that they might have to pay a little more if the Bush tax cuts fade away. But a simple perceptual shift reveals that when the playing field is leveled for everyone else, there is enough and we can all win. When I see a community of straight white men going out on a limb and intimately sharing their feelings around a fire and cheering for gay folks being allowed to join our formerly exclusive club–it fills my heart with hope to see Karma being cleared. Yes, social change is slow and Great Spirit works in mysterious ways. Human rights, gay rights, gender equality, civil rights, worker rights and culturally sensitive mental health assessments and testing and equal access to resources are all manifestations of our forward progress. But we need to remember that conservative energy anchors us in our traditions and be sensitive to that too. Sometimes this looks like taking one step up and two steps back.
We cannot always be in control of our lives and remain in our inner peace bubble. Spiritual beings having a human experience need to come down from the mountain and learn to be on the ground with our fellow brothers and sisters. Sometimes, our securities wane gradually, while at other times they wash away instantly. We need to remember that we can control our attitude and how we respond to the cards that are dealt, regardless of how uncomfortable we feel about them. But the democratic process is messy. We are all in this together and we all have a say in the great waves of changes coming our way.
Stay True,
Ari
I remember when my mom used to say to me, “how much wood would a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?” And then we would both share a heartfelt chuckle. Today, my own child laughs with me as I tell her that story about her “grandma Karen” that she’s never physically met. Although it has been 17 years since my mom tragically suicided and accompanying deep wounds within following that, She has been lovingly re-visiting me lucidly in my Dreamtime, during the Deep Void of Winter, here in the Northern hemisphere on Mothership Gaia. Perhaps as We digest Groundhog’s death without dying medicine, Our planet’s slowing Pisces heartbeat will breathe New Life into Our Hearts as We transition into a whole New World of Aquarian Unity Consciousness.
Who knows, maybe the crystals next to my head in bed are helping me see more clearly these days . . . when I die tonight, I’ll eat A Slice of Heaven and digest it Mystically well . . . I pray to God (Universe) to bathe me in Light as I leave behind my human shell. Although I don’t condone my mom’s Last Exit, Her spirit is inspiring me to internalize Groundhog’s mysteries of death without dying. Has anyone out there ever seen the American film classic, “Groundhog Day”? On the surface, it’s vintage Bill Murray and full of humor guaranteed to raise One’s serotonin. However, in its depth, Murray’s character personifies a metaphor for Reincarnation and inspires Us to transcend Karma and egotism by coming full circle spiritually. If We allow Our Selves to tap into Groundhog’s energy, We have the opportunity to Venture into the Unknown and consciously bring back sacred knowledge from the Dreamtime. Paradoxically, when We effectively journey into the realm of the Great Unconscious, Groundhog medicine helps Us feel more alive, in that it won’t be the last time We commit suicide, from a Shamanic, death without dying perspective.
Additionally, one way to explore a Shamanic journeying experience is to meditate on Groundhog this week. If You are feeling particularly adventurous, perhaps consider pounding on a drum in Your sacred space, ask this Power Animal-Totem-Spirit Guide what It has to teach You, remember gratitude for It’s shared lessons while drumming and then practice letting go of whatever gifts You received during your journey. Groundhog medicine has the potential to help Us with discernment and clarifying what boundaries are appropriate for Our Selves in relationship with others. Now I realize that I am fun-gi (especially when eating organically grown mushrooms) and remember that being a clearer channel is connected to leading a cleaner lifestyle. Moreover, I notice that I’m burning cleaner gas when I stay away from gluten and am feeling sublime when “40 ounces to freedom” while consuming four, 40’s of spring water per day (95 total ounces is probably a good hash mark for most of You). It’s as if Groundhog’s mantra is to remember to stay grounded, while leaving your human shell behind . . . good “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, if you will.
I Hopi You are well,
Ari