Tag Archives: Humor

The Power of Transitional Objects Like Stuffed Animals, Security Blankets, etc.

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Daily writing prompt
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
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Compliments of AI, the images above capture the sentiment of the time when my mom and I got in a power struggle when I was about five years old. Like Linus from the cartoon Peanuts, I brought my blanket (blankie) everywhere, and was about to over my bring it into the bathroom with me. Typically, my mom was good at what we call in Therapeutic Crisis Intervention (TCI) ‘dropping the rope’, and avoiding power struggles. But this time, mom wasn’t going to budge, grabbed what psychologists today call ‘transitional objects’, and tried to pull my blankie away from me.

Given my strong will and formidable attachment to this object, I was having none of it. Thus, it didn’t take long for the blanket to part like the Red Sea, and tear right down the middle. Immediately, I started crying and so did my mom. After we calmed down, and processed the incident; mom apologized, told me how bad she felt and then expressed that she was really worried about me trying to take my blanket to school, getting in trouble and being made fun of by my peers. I don’t blame her; especially because I had already been profiled young, and had to go to a special purpose Preschool program to rework my difficult behaviors. She remembered the look they gave her when I showed up for the first day of the new Preschool with my cowboy guns in holsters. And then the staff turned towards her and said, “we don’t encourage guns in school.” Given that experience, her desire to help- and that I had already got into trouble with another peer on Kindergarten’s orientation day, I can see how she got sucked into this power struggle with me.

Looking back, I remember being struck with how rigidly she had set the limit; seemingly abruptly, and then held her ground without budging. Mother and I revisited this episode many times over the years, and would always laugh about it. The storytelling was a precursor to my journey in meditation, our relationship with our attachments, and how we approach working with them. This experience also informs how we can more effectively co-regulate with each other, and navigate transitions between structured, unstructured, preferred and non-preferred activities. Besides, the blankie was already about to set itself on fire, and was no longer salvageable. The agreement was that I would get a new blanket to replace the old one but under the expectation that the new one would not be going to school with me. During my career as a school social worker, I have told this story many times to students, parents, staff and coaches when situations like these have come up. Like the old T’ai Chi Master Professor Cheng used to say, learning to be human isn’t always easy, and is a lifelong developmental process; our attachments notwithstanding. Humor gets us to look at things differently, and is a powerful change agent in the transformational process of relaxing and letting go of our attachments.

Spirited Seasonal Blessings

Posted on by under Consciousness, Native American, Shamanism, Uncategorized

Today, we get into alignment with the Winter Solstice – the darkest day of the year. Tomorrow, we gain a little bit of light every day. In the darkness, we have an opportunity to receive the information from our lower Chakras, or a “land down under”, so to speak. Although frequently unwanted and uncomfortable to look at, we are equipped with these Chakras to help us shed light on and live in harmonic relationship with the Earth, our sexuality, base emotions, personal will and self-esteem. It is easily conveniently inconvenient to resist this information, change the channel and exit or avoid with denial or aggression. However, we have the opportunity to dig a little deeper by taking an authentic glimpse into our bodily portals of consciousness. As such, we might allow ourselves to see what information Spirit has to reveal to us in our unfolding story. In this process, we may develop acceptance and even make friends with what is. One way to do this is be part of a fire ritual in community and share what you are grateful for and what you would like to let-go of this year.

When I notice those unwanted internal news broadcasts, I remember the old Beavis and Butt-Head episodes. Do you remember watching those two character idiots watching MTV videos together – making comments like, “this sucks” and “change it”? Don’t those characters merely embody theatrical resistance to the inner space of our lower Chakras? After all, life really is like “a box of chocolates” because “you never really know what you’re gonna get.” And remembering a sense of humor is good medicine. We cannot always control, script and choreograph our life-like a reality show. Sometimes, the “best in show” is simply remembering the full-bellied laughter of the Buddha when the funeral parade comes knocking on our door. Our modern world is chock full of distractions that give us easy permission to change the channel, rather than being present on Channel Now. Being present doesn’t mean getting sucked into old dramas, mental tapes or the “voice in the head”- like feeding off an endless IV drip of sympathy. Rather, it does mean being in the moment with what is and breathing in and breathing out the living present, one step, one breath and one moment at a time. If “every thought is a judgment”, then just return to your breath and see what happens.

Many souls choose to leave the material realm this time of year. This is part of why this time of year is such a mixed bag for folks. We feel conflicted about getting into the spirit of the season, the emphasis on consumerism and pressure to buy gifts for each other that we hope will be well-received. We feel pressure to be “up”, instead of “coming down into our souls”. But we need to remember that this junction is really about gratitude and letting-go. Christ’s Light embodied the Sun that is a beacon of light that serves as shelter from the storm. His consciousness was meant to inspire us that the Kingdom of Heaven is an internal experience. When humanity evolves into this place with regularity, we see its unfolding reflected in our outer world. In this way, we become the change we want to see in the world.

Do you remember the character Holden Caufield in the classic book The Catcher in the Rye? Holden Caufield is the epitome of our dying Pisces age and represents the letting-go of our savior complex. The character can’t let-go of trying to catch lost souls jumping off the edge of the cliff, where he waits to save them from their doom. This lose-lose scenario leaves him feeling lonely so that he looks to fill his empty cup with alcohol to medicate his spirits. But we don’t need to carry the heavy burden of trying to save anybody. However, we can become an embodiment of inner peace. When we do this, our souls light up. When we don’t, our souls dim. Those of you who know material bounty and perhaps the “white picket fence”, have probably realized by now that “living the dream” of the leafy suburban lifestyle does not feed your soul alone. Meditation is a healthy spiritual diet that will nourish you soul and help you feel pleasantly full.

Sending much inner peace your way,

Ari