I remember when I worked with a single parent who said, “I just want my son to be happy.” Regardless of where they are at in their life cycle, that’s what most parents want for their children.

But there is a difference between getting what we want, things not going our way and experiencing happiness as a way of life.

Awareness of the truth that we all suffer and that desire and attachment are the root of suffering is key to unlocking a common misconception about happiness.

Happiness as a way of life recognizes that an open, passive attitude and mindful approach by allowing the present moment to unfold as it will (regardless of what feelings we’re being visited by), is what’s up.

Moreover, it is freeing to be present with softening our sense of craving that often accompanies happiness (like any other state of being)- pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

We often crave moments to happen or not happen . . . Or by wishing them to begin or end in ways opposite of what’s really going on.

Moments are what they are. We are the one’s that project our “stuff” onto them. We’ve all done it.

Truly, these moments are what they are, and will be nothing more than fleeting or transient.

Might as well be curious about these moments as they arrive, and surf them as they happen, like riding a wave with the grace of a swan.

Just as an example, the pursuit of happiness is a setup in our constitution, if you’ll pardon the multidimensional-revolutionary pun.

Pursuit connotes suffering. Like striving, being in pursuit of something is really just another unattainable craving because the pursuit of something (such as an attached mental concept) never really happens.

Or if it does happen that you manifest, reach your goal or get what you want . . . chances are that you missed the magical moments of the process as they unfolded because you were still in hot pursuit of reaching your lofty ideal.

Perhaps you identify with a dystopian view of your lowest self portrait. Comedian George Carlin captured the sentiment in my favorite one-liner by stating, “if my goal is to fail and I succeed, which have I done?”

Happiness is seeing beyond the smoke and mirrors, bells and whistles, and bling in the world of 10,000 things.

Happiness is the radical self-acceptance that an interplay between form and formless are always flowing together. Happiness as a way of life lives in a space that transcends the clinging and grasping to our judgments, justifications and mental concepts.

Like the old saying, it’s the journey not the destination.

Take care of yourselves everyone,

Ari