“You can’t feel good when you’re feeling bad about feeling bad.”

-Rhonda Byrne

Looking back in the rearview mirror, I remember working with a spiritual counselor for many years, who reminded me that people get stuck in life, and can have a really hard time getting unstuck. His empathy statement still sounds true because, the truth is, we all get stuck.

Upon reflection, my old spiritual counselor’s wise guidance invited a personal awakening of an awareness that a big part of my own getting stuck at that time was that I was getting stuck on other people’s stuckness . . . and taking it personally. It can be hard to not to become moved by other people’s stuff. Although experience teaches that it is freeing to stay centered, and observe those entanglements soften and relax. Ah, letting go of victim consciousness is a process, like peeling away the layers of an onion.

Awakening to our true nature as spiritual beings having human experiences happens when we are surrendering to the will of the Universe by getting in alignment with it. Ancient meditative movement practices like Tai Chi supports this process by integrating the right and left hemispheres of our brains, and facilitating emotional regulation of our neurological systems by re-patterning them.

In addition to Bruce Lee’s beautiful introduction, the video below also features Professor Cheng Man Ching, who brought Tai Chi to the West, and some of his students who reflect back on their experiences with him. Both of these men had very strong rebellious streaks because they brought secrets of their people to the West. Sharing their knowledge with outsiders was strictly forbidden, and against the orders of their masters.

But they both knew that the West needed to be clued in to the mysteries of the martial arts. Although Professor’s students deeply respected him as a master, some have also said that he wasn’t an enlightened being, and that he had an ego. His playful soul and competitive spirit is probably what made him so approachable to his students. Not long before he died, he said that he was approximately 70% Confucius and 30% Lao Tzu. He also emphasized that he was interested in learning how to be human, and that it takes a long time to do that:

Reflecting back on my own experiences with getting stuck, and what to do about it reminds me of my last semester of college, many moons ago. At that time, I took an extra class as an independent study with one of my psychology professors so that I could graduate on time. Part of my stuckness back then was procrastination. It’s not that Grandmother’s Stop Procrastination tapes with subliminal message hidden underneath ocean waves didn’t work. It’s just that building ‘Righteous Chi’ works gradually, like the power of water. Once enough momentum is present, there is no stopping it.

Back to my last semester in college . . . I took a heavy course load to fulfill my academic requirements for graduation. My psychology professor was also a part time psychotherapist, who worked with a colleague who was also a therapist with his own full time practice. These two progressive men were both concerned about when their clients would get stuck during their therapeutic process, particularly between sessions. Part of their stuckness as psychotherapists was when their clients would get stuck. As therapists, they felt a degree of responsibility and helplessness about that.

Given that, both clinical psychologists were very interested in exploring a newly emerging therapeutic idea at the time called bibliotherapy. Basically, bibliotherapy is a medium to utilize reading, and other multimedia forms (movies, videos, podcasts, quotes, articles, etc.) to reinforce the power of the therapeutic process for change to occur. The independent study explored a deep dive into how bibliotherapy might be utilized as a medium to help clients get unstuck; especially during the interval between sessions or when they were outside of a therapy session. The three of us met weekly to discuss and unpack bibliotherapeutic experiences. I read a bunch of literature on the emerging subject, and wrote a paper based on my research, our clinically oriented weekly conversations, and reflections about what I learned from the experience.

Many years later, I collaborated with librarians, who were aware of the growing body of research on bibliotherapy’s efficacy. Plenty of counselors out there will assign “homework assignments” to their clients. In many cases this involves utilizing bibliotherapy as a medium to water the seeds of change so that they can take root.

Flash forward to today, experiences with getting stuck in therapy appears to be akin to how meditators talk about applying what we learn during sitting meditation to when we’re off the cushion, and going about the business of living our lives. A big part of why we get stuck has to do with our habituated mind, and cravings that block us from experiencing the present moment. Truly, this is a relatable experience to anyone who is taking an honest look at themselves, or in many cases feeling triggered by looking at others.

Finally, check out the video below by highly respected veteran spiritual teacher and nun, Pema Chodron, that further amplifies the sentiment. She has been a leading catalyst in bringing Buddhist principles to the West:

May all beings be free and awaken to inner peace,

Ari